I was tired. I felt that I was overworked. I couldn’t be bothered.  I was very grumpy and only wanted to eat chocolate and junk food to try to cheer myself up.

I tried to work. Replied to an email and instantly regretted.

The email sounded pathetically foul.

Inked in my head was a piece of advice directly for me:

Just try to be careful about seeing it from the recipients point of view. Think about their agenda and expectation and then balance it with ours. You are very efficient which is great but give yourself an extra minute to think about these things before you write.

That morning, I decided to stop writing until I am 100% sure I am writing in the best tone.

It was a good decision.

I am determined to be a strong candidate who is capable of the job role. It seems like I have succeeded because I got the job. In the past year on the job, I made my big mistakes. Now, I am determined to revert to the confident-self like when I first started.

I am learning to be a leader like my boss – the very primary reason I approached him in the first place. I see in him – opinionated, great public speaking skills, and confidence of making decisions. Eager to prove to him that I am still the capable person he hired a year ago, and since then have learnt the way he thinks, I voiced out my opinions before he spoke (or instructed what I should do).

Did I make him feel like he is not in charge? Did it just show that I am an immature “wanna-be”?

How do I find a balance between “learning” and “showing the growth”?

(But I am not him, I don’t have the same capacity and intelligence and wittiness he has. I must have strengths, work around it and build up my personality?)