Why am I doing what I do?

I have a confession: When I heard some of my friends who has just graduated in another degree and earning more and even thrice as me, I got jealous. I started asking myself questions.

Are you saying that when 2 weeks of my post-graduation life was dedicated to crawling the web and travelling up and down of East and South East London, just to find a good room/house that is within my wee budget, these friends of mine are spending their time probably doing something much better with their time money?

Do they really mean it when they say a dance degree is useless and impractical?

What am I really, really doing now?

A career in arts management that I have carefully planned for, and now only in the beginning, can be totally disregarded as… useless?

Today I watched a work of the dance company I work for on DVD.

Working in dance makes me a very luckiest person, just like what my ballet teacher Mr Zhou GuiXin at Ellie Zhou Ballet Studio used to say:

“We are the luckiest persons. Everyday at ‘work’, we witness the most beautiful and magical things.”

English National Ballet dancer at ‘Dance on Parliament’ during Big Dance 2010

Let alone how lucky I am to be in this particular company.

Arts management is what I do. Yes, I don’t earn a lot, but I am hell of a lucky one to see the magic on and behind the stage. I don’t have the talent to make magic on stage, but I have skills that allow the magic to happen… That is what I do.

Ellie Zhou Ballet Studio professional class students.

2 thoughts on “Why am I doing what I do?

  1. AGREED !!!! I go to my other classes and I’m so bored, unstimulated, just ‘existing’, not even ‘breathing’. The moment I step into dance class, I immediately start working on being more present, on channeling energy to others. Movement is such a visceral experience too and we are so lucky to be inspired by such beautiful bodies everyday.

    I say dance, and work for dance. Because the visceral returns and immense self satisfaction are far greater than the momentary returns any high paying economist could get. Movement = Life !!!

  2. I went to a jazz dance open class Thursday evening. Only 6 of us but all at a fairly good standard so it was like back to Celestar where people are keen to learn in class. The teacher said, “Dance for your soul, don’t dance for me! You look blank in the face – where are your expressions? (how familiar is that?) Tell a story with your dancing!”

    We dancers, and artists and choreographers, know what are the things that touch our soul and make us human.

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