After being a member (a rather dormant one) for about 2 years, I finally attended my first Young Professionals in the Arts meet up on Wednesday.
Held at the James Hyman Gallery, it was the first time I spoke to professionals from the visual arts field – the very reason I kept putting off attending the group’s monthly event. The first term that got me puzzled was pop up show, and then names of various visual artists and galleries that I don’t have a clue. But I was learning.
I enjoy my job tremendously yet, sometimes, I feel prisoned. Prisoned by the chores I need to do every Sunday, by the pressure I put upon myself financially, by a relationship that needed extra effort because of distance, and most of all, by the suppressed anger of not being able to be as free as before.
My life became a long to-do list, all items unchecked.
Why?
If I move my ass out of this chair right after this post, I might actually feel the fire in my life again… after one failure and more items added to My Initiative180.
For a long while, I felt very disconnected from the Malaysian dance scene. Can that be justified – because I am too busy living life in London, or trying to start my career in England?
I am regaining this connection..
Then emerge the questions and more questions, to which I have no answer but want to try to find whilst I blog:
Finding out the answers in itself is a huge project, a long journey. I won’t be able to do it alone, but I shall take my first step… perhaps as part of my Initiative180.
I don’t like human babies as much as animal babies…
Babies and children are probably one of my biggest fears. Yes, I know they are adorable, cute and innocent, and of course no one really likes it when they are brats or cry a lot. But the one thing that scares me the most about them, is the thought that I am a someone who teaches and educates them… and paint colours which I like on these pure souls.
So I have zero experience with kids. I don’t teach them (not even dance) and I don’t babysit them (no younger siblings, no cousins, no neighbours’ babies etc).
And when I said ‘yes’ to this job – babysit a 6-year old girl for 5 days – it became the top challenge…
Stephanie Lee is a very special friend of mine. She launched this Initiative180 project last month – everyday she will be doing something that scares her, for 180 days.
(Check it out. She has been working hard on the challenge itself as much as promoting the blog and connecting with the wider blogosphere.)
When she called me (from USA!) to tell me about it, I told her that I would join in the initiative. It is an idea that I love, but … (here comes the excuse) at that point, I was living with my boyfriend Tyas who would have gone back to his home country and not return till 2012. *Naturally*, I wanted to spend as much time with him as I can. So it didn’t really quite happen… until now.
