When I am out with a friend, from the time we meet, perhaps walk to the restaurant, then discuss the menu, catch up, have starter, main course and/or dessert, continue to talk, get the bill and say goodbye, it is normally about 3 hours. But meal for one is not half the time. It is much quicker.
Today, there I was, seated in my hotel restaurant with full dinner service, alone. There were only the restaurant manager and a waiter serving about 7 tables and customers kept pouring in at the time I arrived at the restaurant. “Table for one?” asked the very courteous restaurant manager. “Yes, please.” I can see that everyone else was dressed up, slightly consciously I placed my hands in my hoodie pockets.
It has been 7 years since I last celebrated Chinese New Year the right way – with my family. To be honest, I have forgotten how to celebrate it. Was it the time when we travelled far to eat a lot, to see lots of extended family (I had to do a mental revision of who is who and how to properly address them before I arrived at my grandparents’ house), to be without a computer and internet and therefore resorted to trashy Chinese New Year radio and television shows?
Ah, yes, that was the memory, when we never used to have satellite television at home, Chinese New Year was the one rare occasion where we could watch something more exciting – Singapore TV channels (as hometown was close enough to Singapore to receive its TV signals). There was MediaCorp Channel 8 with the series and programmes all in (Singaporean/Malaysian) Mandarin rather than Cantonese, and Channel 5 with non-stop programmes and movies in English.
There was the time where they banned fireworks and fire crackers, and we could only play the baby version of pop-pop’s – I was secretly relieved, as I was slightly terrified by lighting up the former and never too amazed by them either.
When I still had the idea of designing a business card a couple of months ago, I didn’t know what my job title should be.
I suppose this is for several reasons – 1. I don’t know how could one could only have an identity career-wise – maybe it’s just the coming age of “anything could be a career” – e.g. one could be an engineer by day, musician by night and who knows which one will take off first. The idea of being trapped into a single identity in a small piece of paper terrifies me. 2. I am third year into my career, still excited by and exploring a variety of things that I want, can and will do. And I have a vision or even expectation of myself to go beyond the dance/theatre industry. 3. Whilst everyone is a multipurpose monkey in theatre industry (thanks to Cui who invented this phrase), I have to claim that I am good at something, as much as not claim that I know everything. The nature of the industry doesn’t allow job titles to speak for themselves in such way. 4. I don’t want to be just a producer / arts administrator / manager – am seriously past the phase of wanting to be labelled just to sound like a “professional”. In other words, I want to be an awesome person all round who is capable of, in a rather odd imagery, growing like a tree outwards.