April 23rd, 2013

Merrily We Roll Along

There was a time when we were young, when we believed that anything could happen, when we knew that we would change the world. And we missed that time so dearly. 

But at the same time, I know and want “that time” to be now. I wanted so much to be by your side, when we could hold each other’s hand and believe, with all our heart, that we would be great together,  and we were here to change the world, to “show’em, tell’em”.

***

We never knew the ending of the story.

Like we won’t know the end of ours.

Ticket and opening scene of the musical

A Sondheim Musical “Merrily We Roll Along”, 23 April 2013

April 5th, 2013

Contradiction: Technology and Dance

One of the contradictions I live – both personally and professionally – is technology and dance.

Dance is the most raw form of expression. It is an activity that makes you connect with the body/shell/thing that you live in, that gives the most direct shape to your soul. To dance is to be control of this thing, or to deliberately not be in control.

To move is primitive.

Technology, in the most simple terms, is systems or tools that solve human problems. It allows human imagination take shape in the most logical way. Imagination drives “progression” in the most direct way (though, whether it improves or worsen human condition is another debate).

Technology is the future.

I love the idea of technology, of finding innovative ways to solve problems; progression. When I return to dance, I cannot help but rapidly realise the former is such an out-of-body experience, something that made me lose touch of a core, or centre, or soul of being a human.

A friend suggested that as technology continues to advance, humans will simply become robots. The only thing that stops this from happening is our sentiments for humanity.

For me – and I say this not as a dancer but simply as someone who has failed a long distance relationship simply because of distance, technology that kept people in touch can never replace a hug, the sense of togetherness when you are physically with each other, and sensing the human emotions that you get from movements (i.e. back to the idea of the expression of human soul in the body).

Think about it, how many times we typed “lol” yet we didn’t laugh? We have unintentionally developed a second self, just the way it is. Is this – emotions, and genuine emotions – what my friend referred to as “sentiments for humanity”?

If dance/movements/corporeality and technology are on both sides of a spectrum, will there be a genuine connection between them?

Note to self: This question is about the everyday human experience that arise from living dance and technology, which will lead to utilising or investigating the influence of technology in dance-making (for artists).. and what does this mean for administrators?

March 26th, 2013

Look at who you are from the outside

I was at the event “Media Meets Money – Creating capital value in the new media age”. I honestly didn’t know what to expect content-wise, though I know for sure I am would be one of the few people who are not involved in a startup or technology, or rather, the only person who is from the theatre industry.

(I was there anyway at 9am on a Monday morning, surrounded by men in suits and women in powersuits. Me? I was in a leather jacket and hobo skirt. Well, at least Ben Southworth was in a wine-red-ish knitted jumper which made me feel a little bit better.)

Creative industries… 8% of GDP…

As well as the talks about how the Budget 2013 reflected the government’s support to Creative industries, the panels referred to the above statement extensively during the event. The same statement appeared in an advocacy article in Dance UK News that I was reading that evening.

Suddenly I realised that we are not talking about the same “creative industry”. Ed Vaizey, during the event, used the terms “creative industry” and “cultural organisations” as separate concepts, and theatre and the performing arts belonged to being a latter more than the former.

* * *

I sometimes ask myself why I attend events where I would be amongst people who I don’t know and dare not speak to (because of the gap in experience, background etc).

It is so that I can get out and look at who I am from the outside, because it is important to me that I am relevant to the environment I am in.

February 19th, 2013

Table for one

When I am out with a friend, from the time we meet, perhaps walk to the restaurant, then discuss the menu, catch up, have starter, main course and/or dessert, continue to talk, get the bill and say goodbye, it is normally about 3 hours. But meal for one is not half the time. It is much quicker.

Today, there I was, seated in my hotel restaurant with full dinner service, alone. There were only the restaurant manager and a waiter serving about 7 tables and customers kept pouring in at the time I arrived at the restaurant. “Table for one?” asked the very courteous restaurant manager. “Yes, please.” I can see that everyone else was dressed up, slightly consciously I placed my hands in my hoodie pockets.

I didn’t have starter or dessert. All I ordered was a small glass of white wine and a plate of risotto.

I was so ready for my plate of risotto – I had a wonderful day! Food is my reward! I deliberately told myself I was going to enjoy the meal and not get sucked into technology (oh yes, the million things that you can do on your iPhone – a blessing and curse at the same time).

When food was served, my heart dropped. It came in a tiny portion. Much, much smaller than I expected, considering that I had a prawn salad that resembled a mountain for room service last night when all I wanted was a small portion of something healthy.

It was a plate of something that I could easily finish in 5 minutes!

Remembering my intention of “enjoying dinner” (which was the whole reason I didn’t want do room service), I resisted the urge to pick up my phone, and very gracefully, tore up the bread roll on the side and slowly put into my mouth. Then, I ground some black pepper onto the risotto and took a small bite. Yums. Oh, maybe I should take a sip of the wine first to relax my mind that was still racing with thoughts from the intense thinking session I had just before the meal. Then I finished the spinach garnish – bugger, I thought spinach was meant to be part of the risotto, not the garnish!

Someone texted me, I checked the time – 8.10pm. Hey, not bad. 5 minutes passed and I ate about 20% of the risotto, instead of 100%.

So quietly, a task was set – to finish my meal at 8.30pm. I had 20 minutes to finish it, so like a child, I divided the food into 4 portions.

Each 5 minutes was as long as 10. I ate very, very slowly. Where should I put my hands when I was still chewing? Where should I look? How should I taste the food properly – do I try to analyse what ingredients were in it? Do I taste the bite as a whole? Do I disassemble the food?

Oh, the questions you would ask when you are re-learning to eat.

The first 10 minutes was excruciating. The table beside me had their main course served just after mine – I think the lady had grilled sea bass with potatoes and vegetables – they already finished the food and was chatting away.

I think the alcohol kicked in between minute number 11 and 15. I took a bite from the fourth portion, but feeling guilty, decided to return the bit from the third one. I finally picked up my phone to try to pass time – replied to the text, and browsed 3 pages.

Hurray, 16th minute! OK, the alcohol was definitely in my system now because I had a brilliant idea for my next blog post. I finished up the last portion of the risotto – hey, what’s that thing in it? Is it cabbage? Interesting, I didn’t realise there was cabbage – and the bread roll. Then I drank wine.

I paused for a bit. I was not even feeling full ! But I suppose, human beings should not have too much for dinner, they said it’s bad for health. Moreover, there would be tea and biscuit, and popcorn in my room.

Stood up. Mission completed. I made it.

Risotto (in the middle of the 2nd portion), bread roll, wine and me.

Risotto (in the middle of the 2nd portion), bread roll, wine and me.


(now, I’m going to make tea with biscuits, and eat popcorn whilst I see what’s on TV!)

February 10th, 2013

Happy Chinese New Year

It has been 7 years since I last celebrated Chinese New Year the right way – with my family. To be honest, I have forgotten how to celebrate it. Was it the time when we travelled far to eat a lot, to see lots of extended family (I had to do a mental revision of who is who and how to properly address them before I arrived at my grandparents’ house), to be without a computer and internet and therefore resorted to trashy Chinese New Year radio and television shows?

Ah, yes, that was the memory, when we never used to have satellite television at home, Chinese New Year was the one rare occasion where we could watch something more exciting – Singapore TV channels (as hometown was close enough to Singapore to receive its TV signals). There was MediaCorp Channel 8 with the series and programmes all in (Singaporean/Malaysian) Mandarin rather than Cantonese, and Channel 5 with non-stop programmes and movies in English.

There was the time where they banned fireworks and fire crackers, and we could only play the baby version of pop-pop’s – I was secretly relieved, as I was slightly terrified by lighting up the former and never too amazed by them either.

CNY used to be a diplomatic affair that put lots of stress on my younger self. As I grew older, i.e. post-university and now, in the workplace, of course, I finally learnt the need to be diplomatic… what I needed to do in CNY was not remotely about diplomacy. Maybe it still is, but I have been missing the opportunity to celebrate it, to really know.

I used to like the fact that my family was modern – we never had superstitions or traditional activities around CNY (or in fact, anything else). No one lectured me on what to do and what not to do. I never know any of those folk practices of not cleaning the house on certain days of CNY, the need to lou sang, the need to pray to our ancestors, shou sui, or hold a night long ceremony of thanking the Gods on whenever it needs to be. It has perhaps helped me to not miss CNY so much when I am away – good or bad, depends on the context.

But now I wished I had known them. When you are away from home, ritual can be something that keeps you connected to where you are from. I fear that as years go by, I would not have felt that I am any different from those who go have a meal and watch something in Chinatown call it a CNY celebration…

(Thank God for this video. It saved me from the misery of being homesick.)

February 2nd, 2013

The left brain thinker in creative arts industry

When I still had the idea of designing a business card a couple of months ago, I didn’t know what my job title should be.

I suppose this is for several reasons – 1. I don’t know how could one could only have an identity career-wise – maybe it’s just the coming age of “anything could be a career” – e.g. one could be an engineer by day, musician by night and who knows which one will take off first. The idea of being trapped into a single identity in a small piece of paper terrifies me. 2. I am third year into my career, still excited by and exploring a variety of things that I want, can and will do. And I have a vision or even expectation of myself to go beyond the dance/theatre industry. 3. Whilst everyone is a multipurpose monkey in theatre industry (thanks to Cui who invented this phrase), I have to claim that I am good at something, as much as not claim that I know everything. The nature of the industry doesn’t allow job titles to speak for themselves in such way. 4. I don’t want to be just a producer / arts administrator / manager – am seriously past the phase of wanting to be labelled just to sound like a “professional”. In other words, I want to be an awesome person all round who is capable of, in a rather odd imagery, growing like a tree outwards.

So I came up with this little strap line of mine which I finally felt that encapsulated a large chunk of the truth: “the left brain thinker in the creative arts industry” (the last 3 words pending further approval from myself).

I must say I was pretty pleased. Whilst my business card still remained unrealised, this unconsciously got in my head and somehow became a mission. Technology is getting more and more advanced; interfaces are getting more and more intuitive whilst the backend is becoming more and more powerful; the simplest ideas are already changing how people work. Why can’t arts management be just that too? Why do we all have the latest gadgets, but still struggling to manage the tour booking process, spending (or in my opinion, wasting) precious man hours and resources wrangling with emails, excel spreadsheets and web CMS (the so-called “technology”) to set tasks, move forward an agenda and update information?

We could have got experts to come in to solve this problem, but 1. We would rather invest the money into our artistic products since we are not in an industry with shite loads of cash to spare. 2. No one is as knowledgeable and passionate about our problems as us, therefore the perfect solution has to either take a long time to develop, or we have to sort it out ourselves. Proven. Again and again.

Can we make the process of writing a CV or a business plan, booking a tour, keeping dancers and presenters and sponsors in the loop and up to date, or announcing latest news as beautiful and polished as our artistic products, using technology? This, is the mission I speak of – to make arts management, just that (*snaps fingers*).

I think I will enjoy sorting this out, because it is also my personal interest in testing whether a left brain thinker can be trained to think like a right brain thinker, whether the logical and the creative pattern can co-exist in the brain in an almost balanced proportion, and whether the fundamental difference between a PC and Mac actually originated from the thinking patterns of the right VS left brain (who knows where I got this idea from).

My next step is to learn about programming, or to programme, obviously! I don’t think I’m on a bad start since I did have a history of insisting on finding that missing “;” in HTML codes till 4am during high school… Excited !! and hoping to meet a lot of cool people along the way so if you’re not hooking me up with them, at least wish me luck!! :o )

January 31st, 2013

The value of things

When I started to declutter my place, I didn’t have too much trouble discarding items. I do love the feeling afterwards.

The only things that I couldn’t throw away are those that are associated with my “family” and “friends”: ”I couldn’t throw away this plushy because it was given to me by my mum when I was 12, and not that book either, it’s from my dear friend from the States.”

But when I thought about it carefully, there is to be a funny gap between:

keeping these items because of its “value” (“because it’s from my mum!”)

and

the things that I do that give “value” to relate to these people

Why, instead of calling my mum every week, I would rather keep a plushy that she gave? (I don’t even hold that plushy a lot. It just rolls about on my bed.) If I really do not want to give out that book because it was a gift from a friend, does it really mean anything anymore if I don’t like the book, or/and am not very responsive in replying to her messages?

What is the true value of “value” if we can’t even use that valuable something to add value to our lives? Perhaps, it is just something else – unidentified – being mistaken as “value”.

And in that case, how many more things in life that we have attached these “unidentified something else” to, but mistaken or carelessly see them as the real meaning of “value”, eventually cluttering up our lives with “valuable items”?

January 28th, 2013

What does it mean to be a Chinese (or any ethnic group) nowadays?

A South African teacher of mine posted a video of Kimmi Skota singing “My African Dreams” and commented, “An African woman with flawless skin and perfect African features, wearing an African dress, singing an African song, with an African accent – so put that in your pipe and smoke it Beyonce.”

It struck me – how strong she feels about being from the continent of Africa. What does it mean to be an “African” (note: the term is used by her) woman? The use of that term confused me equally – didn’t I learn from somewhere that “Africans” is not suitable as a collective noun (“There are countries in Africa, you know! At least talk about North/South/East/West Africa!”)? Or is it unsuitable only in certain contexts, and which are they?

Being a Chinese is important to me, so is being a Malaysian – I feel strongly about being a Chinese-Malaysian. But there is a lot of resistance from my guts when I am being referred to “the Chinese girl”. And I ask myself, “Why?”

Is it because the term “Chinese”:

  • to me, bears a unique definition that I made up myself, and can only be applied to me? (e.g. “The Chinese in me makes me understand the need to be humble, the importance of education, and the value of harmony”)
  • to the rest of the world, is capable of suggesting a whole lot of things – physical appearance, taste, a set of values, social norms, activities, country of origin, hang out places, accent, possible occupations or knowledge of a particular language, art form and practice? And some of which I do not identify with?
  • is (therefore) problematic in itself?

What does it mean to be a Chinese (or any ethnic group) nowadays? How does racism work anyway, nowadays? In London, the UK, the world?

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January 27th, 2013

@LivingArchitect on @LondonRealTV

(I don’t know how the hell @LondonRealTV started following me, but thank god it did. I watched an episode before bed till 2am, and another at 10am once I woke up.)

“Time is a creative force that stops things from being irreversible The irreversibility of things is where creative opportunities lie.”

“Co-construct your future by bringing things together.”

“Science, technology and culture… work together… Attempting the unknown is creativity.”

“We should be very flexible about ‘what is a good idea?’.”

You would imagine that these quotes are from artists. In fact, they came from Dr Rachel Armstrong whose biography read as follows:

Rachel Armstrong is Co-Director of AVATAR (Advanced Virtual and Technological Architectural Research) in Architecture & Synthetic Biology at The School of Architecture & Construction, University of Greenwich, London. Senior TED Fellow, and Visiting Research Assistant at the Centre for Fundamental Living Technology, Department of Physics and Chemistry, University of Southern Denmark. Rachel is a sustainability innovator who investigates a new approach to building materials called ‘living architecture,’ that suggests it is possible for our buildings to share some of the properties of living systems. She collaboratively works across disciplines to build and develop prototypes that embody her approach.

She might have a biography of stuffs, but listen to her speak – she is just someone who is not boxed into the idea of “who I am, what I do”. Lively, explains science in a way that I can actually understand on a Sunday morning, hopelessly optimistic and just a generally exciting person.

Watch the video: http://www.londonreal.tv/episodes/dr-rachel-armstrong-earths-bright-future/

ナース 求人 埼玉